Earlier this week, I started seeing a meme pop up online that really upset me. It features a photo of a rotisserie chicken on a spit, next to a photo of a plus size pole dancer in an inverted tuck, with the words “Nailed It” at the top.

Buckle up, because I’m about to go on a rant.

This meme is offensive. It’s rude. This is my opinion, and people are entitled to theirs, but I don’t understand people within this community who do find it funny. I could get why someone who is outside might think it was a laugh [spoiler: it’s not], because they’re ignorant as to what we do and how hard it is, but inside? I don’t get it.

Here’s the thing: What we do is HARD. It takes tremendous courage to walk into your first class, no matter what your size, but it’s even harder for those who aren’t tiny, or aren’t young, or aren’t what someone might assume a traditional “pole dancer” would be. Additionally, when you are plus size, everything is harder. If you had a hard time inverting as a beginner, and you’re a size 2, imagine how much harder it is if you were 20lbs heavier…or 50lbs…or 100. A successful invert is reason for celebration, no matter what your size, but even more so when you’re fluffier. The dancer in that photo deserves respect and acknowledgement for her hard work, not ridicule by strangers…or by members of her own community.

Another thing? This dancer is a person. Who has feelings. Can you imagine seeing your image taken and used in this way, all over the internet? Can you imagine seeing it spread by the very people in the community that you’re a part of? Dare I say, the community that you love? To me, this is a violation. It’s bullying and cruel.

So, if you see this image, speak up. Say that it sucks and it’s mean. And, if you don’t think it is mean, at least have the respect for your fellow pole dancers to refrain from sharing it. This community is sorely in need of some reform in the area of bullying, and we can all make it better by striving to DO better and BE better.